Download PDF , by Tian Dayton
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, by Tian Dayton
Download PDF , by Tian Dayton
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Product details
File Size: 834 KB
Print Length: 312 pages
Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (September 3, 2012)
Publication Date: September 3, 2012
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B008TPUJSG
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#161,314 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I purchased this book originally with the idea to better understand my significant other, an adult child of an alcoholic. I am a recovering alcoholic (18 years sober), and my grandfather was an alcoholic. I never saw my father (an ACOA) drink, but he said he stopped drinking when we (my brother and I) were kids so that we wouldn't have the life that he did, growing up with an alcoholic father. So many things in this book affirmed who I am--I felt odd and confused and sad and defective as a child, and as if something bad had happened to me, but have no recollection of any huge trauma. This book affirmed my experience and my feelings. It has helped me be more compassionate toward myself and to my significant other, who struggles with his own ACOA issues. I read many MANY books on recovery and alcoholism over the years, and this is the FIRST one that I have ever felt so validated and so helped by! This book helped me understand why I react the way I do sometimes and how to change. I recommend it for ACOAs and alcoholics and addicts alike. Amazing book.
Growing up with an alcoholic father and a mother in denial cast me into a "spell" of codependency. I knew something was "different" about myself and the way others reacted to me by the age of 5. This is one powerful book. I am not an avid reader, but found myself riveted tothis, as the child in me was screaming to be heard and my pain validated. This trumps individual therapy. I feel as though Tian was with me all the way, listening to what was trapped inside. Can't say enough about the experience of the process to be heard and begin healing.
After 34 years of marriage to the most wonderful woman in the world, I know understand why my ACoA wife can change on a dime to someone other than herself. This book is a roadmark to sanity for husbands perplexed and yet in love with their ACoA wives. Thank you Dr. Dayton for your insightful book!
Truly brilliant explanation of what happens to change the brain and thought processes, and physiological responses to every day stimuli in trauma victims. I thought it was just that I was defective, because I was told and shown that in so many awful ways by my abusive family of origin. I endured years of abuse that started with a stepparent, and which left me a target for further bullying and abusive relationships. If I had understood what happened to me I would have dealt with the fallout from the abuse differently because I would have had tools to help reframe events and change my thought patterns. I wasn't born this way, I was outgoing and confident and empathetic, and I ended up with undiagnosed PTSD. Nobody knew 40 years ago that kids from abusive and dysfunctional families suffered this way, but now it's recognized and there is some help available. We don't get to go back in time for do-overs to have the life we should have had, but we can start from where we are now and make the time we have left much better. Even if we are older, there is still hope and this book is a great place to start healing from the inside out.
A must read for anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional or chaotic environment.
The best book I've found to connect developmental trauma to the experience of growing up in a chaotic family.
A handy book that takes some of the misunderstandings away.
Dr. Tian has combined trauma with addiction. Those of us who are addiction professionals knew that ACOAs experienced some level of trauma but she has taken that information and synthesized and explained it in a way that will be helpful to therapists.
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